Superpower Grandparents

I posed a question to a panel of theologians at a family camp designed for Christians. It went: “How would you counsel Christian grandparents to leave their faith legacy for their grandchildren when their parents are unwilling or unable to do so?” A large, collective groan from the attendees confirmed that I am not alone in this need. The panel members, all of whom were in the midst of raising young children, gave tenderhearted answers. Thankfully, they confirmed much of what I already am doing. They also offered added insights.

Their first bit of advice was to pray; pray for our grandchildren and for our children. (Note: It’s never too late to pray for your children.) There is never a time when prayer is not needed. There is never a time when we know better than God what our families need. There is nothing we are experiencing that God cannot change in an instant. I am reminded to lay my burden on God and then step aside and get out of His way.

Secondly, one pastor reminded us that we are Superpower Grandparents. As the Farmers’ Insurance commercial tagline says: “We know a thing or two, because we’ve seen a thing or two,” grandparents have experienced what our adult children are now going through. It’s not that we swoop to the rescue wearing flowing capes, it’s that we care enough about our family members to prioritize their eternal salvation. We hold a powerful influence over the lives of our grandchildren, demonstrated in the way we speak and interact with them, and the example we demonstrate through our conduct. Second to their parents, we are the most powerful influences in their lives. I encourage you to use this influence wisely.

Finally, we exert a powerful influence over our grandchildren in the messages we speak to them. You have probably heard the saying that children live up to the expectations people assign to them. As influential grandparents, let’s remember to speak positive words into the lives of our grandchildren. When children grow up hearing things like, “You’re never going to amount to anything,” or “Why would anyone want to be your friend?” they believe it. When they hear us say things like, “God has a wonderful plan and a purpose for your life,” or “I thank God for allowing me to be your grandma,” our grandchildren internalize those positive affirmations.

At the end of the Q&A at camp, one of the panelists strongly suggested that grandparents write blessings that grandchildren can read throughout their lives. It doesn’t matter if your words are profound. It does matter if they come from the heart; that’s what makes you a superpower grandparent. Ask the Lord to give you the words to reinforce your grandchildren’s walk with God.

“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Ephesians 6:10-11

You can stand up against evil. I have learned to rely on God when…

Have You Blessed a Grandchild This Month?

Earlier this year, I suggested a way to pour forth blessings over your grandchildren using a selection of inspirational Bible verses and writing prompts. For me, it is a mindful way to present the ones I love before the Lord.

If you haven’t tried writing a blessing over your grandchild, I urge yo to pick up a pen and some paper. Here is a sample of the kind of message you might convey:

January – You are God’s creation.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13)

We met on your first day of life. You were squirming around in an incubator after a challenging entry into this world. Inside a perfectly formed body, your fighting spirit was fully evident. At that time, I couldn’t have known how expertly our Lord had fashioned you for the path ahead. My prayer that day was for God to exert a powerful presence over your life. He has answered that prayer time and again. Your tender heart is one of His gifts. It is evident to people who meet you, even for brief periods of time. I pray for you to continue using everything that God had endowed upon you in ways that honor him and attract others to Christ.

Choosing a Bible verse to write a blessing for a grandchild is something that brings blessings to both of you.

The Season is Upon Us

heidi-sandstrom-2TLREZi7BUg-unsplash — Photo by Heidi Sandstrom. on Unsplash

It seems to be starting earlier this year. Christmas decorations showed up in stores weeks ago, and now everyone I talk to is decorating their homes with trees, garlands, and all kinds of evergreen somethings. And here I am, still planning a Thanksgiving menu. I love the fun of it as much as anyone does, but only as long as the original reason we celebrate does not get lost in the excitement.

Allow me to interject a chiche’ here. “It isn’t Christmas without Christ.” The gift of eternal salvation surpasses any trinket, electronic, wearable, or consumable you can find in a brick and mortar or cyber store. Amen to that! The question then centers on how to keep Christ at the center of the season.

I made a list of the people on my gift list and slipped it into my purse. Along with reminding me to shop for them, it is a ready reminder to pray for them. Seeing their names prompts visual images of each person and usually conjures up a fond memory. (Imagine some lady walking around a shopping mall laughing to herself.)

If you’re like me, grandchildren hit the top of the list. What is the best thing you can give them? Hint: it has nothing to do with running up a huge credit card debt, but it has the power to last an eternity. It is the message of faith in Christ as our Savior. The fun part is that putting this wonderful gift into an alluring package is really quite simple.

Advent calendars, the kind that mark the 24 days leading up to Christmas with daily doses of Bible verses and chocolate, are a big hit at my house. During last year’s Christmas celebrations, my grandson decided to read each of the Advent calendar messages aloud to our family. It planted Jesus right into the middle of our gifts, where He belongs. Truly, His is the greatest gift anyone can ever receive.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8

Let’s all get into the true spirit of Christmas. Let me know what you’re doing at barbhowe.org.

Writing About Grandchildren – Inspiration #3 of 5

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You have probably experienced times with a grandchild that spark your own reminiscing. These instances happens throughout the year, with or without prompting. Long forgotten memories do pop up when we least expect them. They are not restricted to time or season.

There is no law saying you can’t share stories from your past. They are always relevant. Your stories of reminiscing give children a glimpse into the reality that human nature stays the same despite all the technological advances that are being made.

In the same way that milestones and special occasions spark ideas, reminiscing can be fun. I think of it as conducting an archaeological dig into the past to talk with grandchildren about memories being made today. Here is an excerpt from a letter written to a grandchild in the days leading up to Christmas:

I remember when you were barely old enough to help decorate our home for Christmas. Setting up our Christmas tree that year prompted one of my childhood memories.

When I was 10-years-old, my Dad lost his job due to a workforce reduction, This was at a time before artificial Christmas trees were common. Our family budget was severely limited while he searched for a new place to work.

During the weeks leading up to Christmas, I heard my parents talk about the price of Christmas trees and how they might be able to work it into the budget. I began to wonder if we were going to have a Christmas tree that year. Now, to be honest, I cannot recall any year during my childhood when we did not have one, but I also cannot remember most of those trees.

This tree was different. I clearly remember when…

Imagine the different directions a memory like this might travel. Your stories could prompt your grandchildren to consider how today’s ordinary activities will look different in their later years. They will certainly revisit the time you shared with them. Perhaps the most important element of your reminiscing is giving them a reason for hope when they struggle through the inevitable challenges of life.

So, let your remembrances flow onto paper. Allow your grandchildren to see how people work through their difficulties. Use your words to share a message of hope and faith in our loving Lord.

Shortly after Christmas, the dad in the story found a new job. The entire family emerged stronger in their bonds, and stronger in their faith. Use your life stories as a way to strengthen the faith of your grandchildren. The rewards are eternal.

Share your remembrances at barbhowe.com.

Grandparenting at the Speed of Age

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Time is experienced differently by children and adults. Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Didn’t we just celebrate” (a birthday, Christmas, or the start of summer) a few days ago?” From a child’s perspective, the time between annual events must seem endless. To me, not so much. The difference seems to stem from the ratio of years to age.

A one-year cycle represents something like 12 percent of an 8-year-old’s life, a far smaller percentage for those in my age range. I thought about this the day after my grandson celebrated a special event, when he suggested what he wanted to do the next time around, as if he might forget before it happened. Do your grandkids do this stuff?

From an eternal perspective, we are all speeding through time. The difference is that youth views life as a long road with an eventual end; oldsters reflect on the long journey traveled while pondering our ultimate destination. An abstract conclusion ages into an imminent reality. Having experienced this transition, I now view each new year as a possibility, eternity as a certainty.

Nobody can accurately count our remaining days on earth. That could be why some of us live as if today may be our last. One of our duties as grandparents is to prepare future generations for eternity, and to do so in a manner that balances the delights of this life with the unimaginable joy of meeting our Savior face to face.

We are not responsible for bringing our grandchildren to faith in Christ. That’s the job of the Holy Spirit. Our duty is to present the Word of God to younger generations and encourage them by example. It means obeying the command given to us in Deuteronomy 4:9: “Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

Send your comments to barbhowe.org.

An Opportunity for Grandparents

sarah-noltner-509365-unsplash — Photo courtest of Sarah Noltner on Unsplash

On March 9, 2019, New Hope Church in New Hope, MN is hosting a conference where Grandparenting is the subject and Dr. Josh Mulvihill is the speaker.

Conferences like this are designed to set aside time for anyone (from soon-to-be grandparents to those who have older grandchildren) to develop new friendships while exploring our role as faith leaders in our families.

About the Speaker

Dr. Mulvihill is the Executive Director of Church and Family Ministry at Renewanation, and is a founding member of the Legacy Coalition. He holds a PhD from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and has been a pastor for nearly 20 years. In addition, Dr. Mulvihill has authored and edited numerous books including: Biblical Grandparenting, Equipping Grandparents, Preparing Children for Marriage, Roots Kids Worship and Rooted Kids Curriculum.

Conference Topics:

Why Grandparenting Matters
Recognizing the Cultural Messages About Grandparenting
Understanding the Biblical Role of Grandparents
Discipling Grandchildren: 4 Biblical Methods Every Grandparent Can Do
Discipling Grandchildren: 4 More Biblical Methods Every Grandparent Can Do

Learn more about Dr. Josh Mulvihill at GospelShapedFamily.com.

Learn more about The Legacy Coalition.

Conference Link and Registration

And, don’t forget to visit my website at barbhowe.org.

Welcome to the Grandparent Club!

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The feeling of becoming a grandparent for the first time cannot adequately be described in words. It’s something that can only be defined in heart language, with its overflowing measure of joy, hope, and delight. Entering the grandparent club is a heady experience, to be sure.

I still recall one special moment when I held my infant grandson. As our eyes met, I realized my role in the long list of “everythings” he would need to learn. I read somewhere that grandparents contribute the greatest influence over children’s lives, second only to that of the parents. It caused me to think of all the ways we, as grandparents, have to contribute.

We can:

Teach grandsons how to be powerful men, or train them to be men of integrity.
Teach granddaughters how to be influential women, or encourage them to develop strong inner character.
Teach young ones to love their neighbor, or show them how to help others when needs arise.
Teach our grandchildren about God, or live in a way that demonstrates a daily commitment to Christ.

Here’s the catch: none of these ideals are mutually exclusive. They are all compatible.

I can honestly say, “Being a Christian grandparent is an action adventure, not a spectator sport.” Each day is a contest of will and stamina. But we all have a playbook – the Bible – to help us become star athletes. Let’s all get in the game.

We have a command from our Heavenly Father to pass along our faith to future generations. It’s our duty and an honor. Welcome to the club!

Tell me about your grandparenting experience at: barbhowe.org.

Make a Note!

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A recent occasion of closet cleaning reminded me how much value written words hold for us. Inside a long-forgotten box on a top shelf in the closet I found a stack of letters written to me by my mother, who passed away nearly 40 years ago. I began reading.

Most of the letters contained family news. Near the middle of the stack, I found a little card with a personal message in my mother’s handwriting, expressing her love for me. What a treasure!

She did not use a lot of words, but the ones she did use touched my heart – again. I won’t repeat them here; they’re private. What I will share is encouragement and a little guidance for you to put your words of love on paper for a special someone.

Read below, and insert (selected words or phrases) from the lists that express your thoughts and feelings. Feel free to combine thoughts or insert your own words in place of the ones listed.

Dear (Name),

On the day
(you were born),
(your adoption was finalized),
(I became your stepparent),
(you became my grandchild),
(I became your grandparent),
my life changed forever.

I felt
(overwhelmed),
(more emotions than I could count),
(a loss of words),
(blessed beyond measure),
(tears of joy running down my cheeks).

The first time
(I held you in my arms),
(you looked into my eyes),
(our hands touched),
I knew
(you were a blessing from God),
(I would always love you).

I hope you will always remember
(you are one of a kind),
(you are wonderfully made),
(I will always love you).

Love,

(Your Name)

Here’s an example of how your message might look when you write it out:

Dear Emma,

On the day I became your grandparent, my life changed forever. I felt blessed beyond measure. The first time I held you in my arms I knew you were a blessing from God. I hope you will always remember you are wonderfully made. I will always love you.

Love,

(Your Name)

These few sentences are short enough to fit into a greeting card or one one sheet of writing paper. Yet the message they carry is enough to fill a book. And it only takes a little time to leave a big impact in someone’s day, even 40 years later. Try it!

Send your thoughts to barbhowe.org.

Thank You, Grandfather

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Most of my grandparents passed away before I was born. One was my maternal grandfather who emigrated to the United States through Ellis Island. Most of what I know about him came by way of oral storytelling passed down from generation to generation.

Some said he held a position similar to “town mayor” but gave it up when socialism was gaining a foothold in Eastern Europe. He reportedly envisioned conditions deteriorating during the early 20th Century. So he left his wife and their beautiful farmland to forge a new future in America.

As a non-English speaker, he worked as a laborer to earn enough money for my grandmother and their young family to join him. This grandfather died young, about one year after safely relocating his family to America. I am a United States citizen because of his selfless sacrifice. How I wish I knew more about him!

Have you ever wondered what future generations will remember about you? Memories fade and details become clouded with age. It’s the old “I’ll never forget” thing, until recollections grow dim. That happened with remembrances about my grandfather. I determined not to let it happen with my life.

In just a few hours each week, I compiled childhood stories to share with my extended family. Those stories turned into a small book that I distributed to them as gifts. It turned out to be easier and more fun that expected. A number of my relatives have thanked me for the effort.

Now it’s your turn. Set aside a few hours each week; mark it in your calendar. Start a Word or Google doc, or hand write your ideas into a journal. Before long, you’ll have a living history to pass along to your children’s children.

And let me know how it goes at: barbhowe.org.

A Gift That Can Only Come From You

rawpixel-191157-unsplash The closer it gets to Christmas, the more I see FedEx trucks racing through my neighborhood. It almost makes me laugh to think how Santa’s annual run has been affected by the dawn of online shopping. Admittedly, I contributed a small measure to the congestion. Like my neighbors, I want to give gifts that family members want most, especially the children. But what do they really want?

I am blessed to spend time with my grandson. (Hint: technology makes this possible for grandparents who do not live near their grandchildren.) I’ve noticed something interesting that happens when our conversations are about him: he stops whatever he is doing and quiets down to listen intently.

I believe children “need” to know they are loved by their grandparents. Some of the greatest gifts we can offer are words of encouragement and words of faith to guide them in life. Why not write a thoughtful note or letter as a permanent reminder of your love?

Try this out. Choose a Bible verse that speaks of family generations. For example: “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When you read this passage, what thoughts come to mind about your grandchild? Do you think about anticipating his/her birth? Are you reminded of the first time you saw this grandchild? What images come to mind about this child’s unique qualities? Your words have the power to give your grandchild encouragement and a never-ending reminder of your love.

Now, write a brief note or letter beginning with the following sentence:

“I know God blessed me when you were born because…”

How will you package your gift? Here are some ideas. Write your message on a beautiful piece of stationery and put it in a frame. Wrap your special gift in a box and present it to your grandchild personally. Or, record a video of yourself reading the message and send it to your grandchild. Sharing your godly love for a grandchild is one gift that can only come from you.

Share your thoughts at barbhowe.org.