Welcome to the Grandparent Club!

oc-gonzalez-275709-unsplash (1) — Photo courtesy of OC Gonzalez on Unsplash

The feeling of becoming a grandparent for the first time cannot adequately be described in words. It’s something that can only be defined in heart language, with its overflowing measure of joy, hope, and delight. Entering the grandparent club is a heady experience, to be sure.

I still recall one special moment when I held my infant grandson. As our eyes met, I realized my role in the long list of “everythings” he would need to learn. I read somewhere that grandparents contribute the greatest influence over children’s lives, second only to that of the parents. It caused me to think of all the ways we, as grandparents, have to contribute.

We can:

Teach grandsons how to be powerful men, or train them to be men of integrity.
Teach granddaughters how to be influential women, or encourage them to develop strong inner character.
Teach young ones to love their neighbor, or show them how to help others when needs arise.
Teach our grandchildren about God, or live in a way that demonstrates a daily commitment to Christ.

Here’s the catch: none of these ideals are mutually exclusive. They are all compatible.

I can honestly say, “Being a Christian grandparent is an action adventure, not a spectator sport.” Each day is a contest of will and stamina. But we all have a playbook – the Bible – to help us become star athletes. Let’s all get in the game.

We have a command from our Heavenly Father to pass along our faith to future generations. It’s our duty and an honor. Welcome to the club!

Tell me about your grandparenting experience at: barbhowe.org.

Hope for Rejected Grandparents

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“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).

As grandparents, our access to grandchildren is dependent upon the relationships we have with our adult children. It can be a challenge to maintain that perspective when we do not agree with their decisions. Sometimes parents oppose a relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. They may even be separated by physical distance.

As disheartening as these situations may be, they are not a reason to lose hope. Rather, they are opportunities to trust God for the outcome while continuing to pray for His guidance in the way we react to our circumstances.

One widow was disheartened when her son and daughter-in-law moved out of state, taking her two grandchildren with them. Opposing this grandmother’s faith, the father severed all contact between her and his children. After weeks of prayer and fasting, the grandmother began sending gifts and cards filled with words of hope to her grandchildren. At their insistence the father relented, allowing visits between his children and their beloved grandmother to resume.

A divorced man found himself left out of his daughter’s family celebrations. After coming to faith in Christ, he admitted his hot temper and accusing words contributed to the distance between him and the people he loved. With a contrite heart, he humbly reached out to his daughter, asking her to forgive his past sins. She was hesitant at first. But after he consistently and respectfully persevered, the daughter opened her home, and eventually her heart to him. He now has a thriving relationship with his daughter and grandchildren.

These two grandparents chose to trust in God when there was no evidence or human reason to believe their damaged family relationships would be restored. Rather than give up, they persisted, they prayed, and they pursued the goal of restoration. In doing so, they cast their anxieties to the Lord and trusted Him for the results.

To anyone who is facing this dilemma I say, “Don’t give up.” With utmost humility, ask God to pave the way for you to have a godly influence on the lives of your grandchildren. Be patient. God already know what you need and what your grandchildren need. And remember to give God all the glory for the way He answers your request.

Share your stories of hope at barbhowe.org.

Listen to the Kids

KIDS There was a popular daytime television show during the 1950s called Art Linkletter’s House Party that featured humorous monologues and audience participation. In one of the show’s best-remembered segments, “Kids Say the Darndest Things”, Linkletter interviewed children between the ages of five and ten, garnering hilarious responses.

Kids don’t have filters on the things that come out of their mouths. They haven’t learned the finer rules of etiquette and social graces enough to hold back from stating the obvious. In their innocence, children blurt out things as they see them.

I was reminded of this when my grandson mentioned a few of my imperfections. He wasn’t trying to be mean. In a good-natured way, he was simply commenting on a few of my physical and behavioral flaws. Fighting against the wrinkling, sagging ravages of time is futile. It was his observations about things I commonly say that struck me most.

Taking time to listen to kids pays off. Hearing how I sound to young ears helped me to see myself from a different perspective. It gives me a chance to think about how my words might be interpreted differently than I intended, how the infection of my voice might alter the recipient’s understanding of my meaning.

My grandson and I talk a lot. That gives me ample opportunity to listen to his interpretation of what I’m saying, watch his body language, and self-correct what I’m saying. While I’m busy trying to teach my grandson something he needs to know, he is equally busy teaching me things that I need to know. This is why I think it’s important to listen to the kids.

Share how you Listen to the Kids at barbhowe.org.

Integrity Speaks

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“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,” (Proverbs 10:9).

One of my early “Dad” memories is from a time we were returning home from an ice cream parlor. Quite by mistake, he drove the wrong way down a side street that had recently been designated one-way in the opposite direction we were traveling. Realizing his error, Dad attempted to turn off at the first intersection. However, a police officer who was parked beyond the intersection saw Dad.

I vividly remember sitting in the car and listening as Dad calmly explained the reason for his error. He received no sympathy. The officer issue a ticket that Dad respectfully accepted and paid without grumbling.

A person’s true character is revealed when they do not get the answer they want. It has been more than 60 years since that event and nearly 40 years since Dad’s passing. Still, my memories of Dad are filled with examples that showed he was a man of integrity and honorable character.

Most of what children learn from adults comes not by the words they hear but by the actions they see. Kids have a way of knowing when these two things are incompatible. Integrity, or the lack of it, is especially notable when we choose to do what is right in the eyes of God instead of doing what “I want” to achieve a short-term personal gain.

How would you measure up? The question should give you pause. A large part of the spiritual legacy you leave to your grandchildren will be evidenced by the integrity you display on a daily basis. Jesus demonstrated how to do what is right under all circumstances. And, He promised to help us stay strong when temptation hits us in the face. Ultimately, your reputation for doing what is right will show your children’s children the right way to live. And that is more valuable than gold.

Share your thoughts at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.