Marriage Prep

Preparing Children for Marriage When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your grandchild about marriage? Perhaps I should rephrase that to ask if you have ever talked with your grandchild about what it means to be married in the context of God’s plan? My grandson first brought up the topic when he was around the 4-year-old mark. That was my early warning to prepare for a lot of questions in the future.

These days, I’m gleaning significant insights from the book, Preparing Children for Marriage, by Josh Mulvihill. In his book, Mulvihill addresses marriage, sexual purity, and dating within the context of God’s perfect plan. I appreciate his no-nonsense approach and targeted references to Bible verses that support his points.

In today’s ‘anything goes’ culture our grandchildren need all the help we can give. Mulvihill encourages adults to speak boldly and honestly with their children and grandchildren about the real reason God created marriage.

During a recent overnight visit, I tucked my now 7-year-old grandson in with a prayer for his future wife. It’s not too soon start, especially in light of his early warning. I am thankful for Mulvihill’s insights, and his encouragement to be intentional when talking with grandchildren about such an important topic.

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A Tale of Two Women

Spring Flowers Two women linger over lunch by the window at a cafe. One is in her fifties. She wears a scarf around her head in the fashion common to one covering baldness that results from chemotherapy. The other is in her late twenties, midway through a pregnancy as evidenced by the swell along her midsection. They are having a leisurely mother-daughter lunch.

Leaning back into the chair and gesturing to make a point, the older woman carries on a dialogue while the younger woman rubs her belly and nods. Alternately, the younger woman talks while the older woman leans forward attentively. Their conversation is intentional.

Watching them causes me to consider the most important thing I want to share with people in my life, especially my grandson. I silently thank these two women for reminding me that whatever happens in this world is a temporary situation, but the course of our eternity is determined by the choice each of us makes to put our faith in Jesus Christ.

“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

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Let’s Get Real!

Heavenly Light During a women’s retreat where the life stages of attendees spanned early adult to grandmother of many, I was impressed by the transparency one 20-something woman demonstrated. She prayed for forgiveness of an addiction to pornography. Her revelation impressed me.

My first reaction was finding a face to put on a growing statistic among young Christian women. (If you don’t believe this, check out DirtyGirlsMinistries.com and CovenantEyes.com.) The casualties of sexual immorality suddenly became real and relevant in the tearful prayer of one of its victims. It pierced my heart to see her pain.

When I shared this experience with a friend, she reminded me that young adults want to engage in open, honest dialogue with people of their grandparents’ generation about tough topics like this. The thing is, meaningful communication can only happen when we grandparents are open and honest about our lives. It can be challenging. Our generation was taught not to “air your dirty laundry.” Maybe it’s time for a wardrobe update.

In Genesis, God created sexual intimacy to be a gift, not the plague many in younger generations are experiencing. You may know a young adult who is dying inside to talk about this or another personal challenge. I urge you to take off the cloak of pride and discuss tough topics openly and honestly with your children’s children. Getting real may be one of the most empowering gifts you can give.

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Calculations

Calculation

I’m one lucky woman who regularly spends time with my first grade grandson. That means learning first-hand what he is learning in school. These days, one of his favorite classes, aside from recess and lunch, is math. His enjoyment of math shows up in interesting ways.

One morning while we were mixing waffle batter, he threw out a math problem for me to solve: 100 x 100 x 1000 + 4 (divided by) 10. We worked on it together, first in our heads, second on paper, and third on a calculator. Then while I was pouring batter into the waffle iron, he rattled off another math challenge: 800 x 7000 + 4 (divided by) 10. (There must be something about all those zeroes that makes math more exciting.)

God has created each of us with unique gifts and talents. Part of our responsibility as grandparents is to help our grandchildren develop their talents and teach them the Word of God. After our math exercises and breakfast dishes were finished, I read a chapter to my grandson from his children’s Bible.

Have you calculated the importance of our role as grandparents? We are to teach our grandchild to know and love the Lord. I encourage you to take time to learn your grandchildren’s interests, and take advantage of opportunities to share your faith.

FYI, the answer to the first math problem is: 99,999,999. When you figure out the answer to the second math problem, post it to my website at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

Sliding Into Second Childhood

Lake Ann Sledding

The whole thing started when my grandson wanted a play date with a boy in his class. His request snowballed into two boys, five girls, one mom, two grandmas, and a grandpa congregating at the unofficial sledding hill of a local park.

As soon as our sled and Sno-Tube were out, the boys skidded their way down the hill. They tried every conceivable position to increase their speed: standing, sitting, or flattening themselves out. Their ultimate objective appeared to be ramming into one another with enough force to knock themselves into the air.

The girls took a little bit longer to finesse their way down the slope. They tested a brightly colored stack of plastic sleds from the back of another SUV until each found her perfect fit. Before long, their attention turned to snowball fights, building snowmen, and making snow angels.

All four adults stood at the top of the hill observing the crisscross of trails carved into the snow. “Are you going to try it?” the other grandma asked as she looked my way. Too late! I was already on my way down the hill. Everyone got into the act, screeching and laughing all the way down.

By the time our shared play date came to a close, the adults were planning our next outing. My childhood flashed before my eyes. I reminisced about the days when a dozen or more kids escaped outside to construct forts, lob snowballs, and race back indoors for hot chocolate and dry socks.

Snow is falling as I write this. I’m smiling. It won’t be long before I’m sliding into the childhood excitement of winter with my grandson once again.

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True Treasures

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Among my collection of old family photos is one taken about 80 years ago. I know this because I recognize a toddler in the photo who is now in her early eighties. The photo includes faces of many other people, mostly adults. It’s interesting because some of the faces fade into the background.

This photo serves as a visual reminder of my own temporary imprint on earth. In a few short years, my face and name will begin to fade into obscurity. And 80 years from now, someone might pull up a digital photo of me and wonder who I am.

Don Moen wrote and performed a song titled “When It’s All Been Said and Done”. It’s one of my perennial favorites, probably because it tells such a compelling story. His message speaks about our life on earth in relation to our eternal home. The lyrics challenge us to consider whether we are living for something that matters beyond ourselves, or something that brings us temporary pleasure.

In Ecclesiastes 1:14, King Solomon advises his sons that pursuing wisdom, pleasure, or success for our own satisfaction is like chasing the wind. At the end of his life, he admits that all his earthly treasures have become meaningless. He concludes Ecclesiastes with an admonition to revere God and obey His commands. What a spiritual legacy!

Do you find yourself chasing the wind? Or have you embraced the words of Matthew 6:19-20: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

At the end of life, we will all face the measure of how we choose to live today. Will your life count for meaningless treasures of earth, or eternal treasures in heaven? This will be the spiritual legacy you leave for generations to come.

Party Time

Three Generation Fishermen Question: Why would any self-respecting, sensible, mature woman choose to go fishing with her family to celebrate her birthday instead of spending a day hanging out at a spa or tasting her way through multiple courses at a gourmet eatery? Here are five reasons.

Reason #1 – Because her family consists entirely of males, all of whom jump at the chance to fish – especially if it involves fishing off a pontoon on a beautiful day. Plus, they get really excited about your birthday when it involves something they really like to do.

Reason #2 – Because said males made the effort to pull together a gourmet picnic lunch to accompany said fishing trip and you didn’t have to lift a finger. You just have to sit and smile a lot.

Reason #3 – Because cruising around a lake on a pontoon for an entire afternoon on a beautiful day is something you enjoy, even if no fish make it onto the vessel.

Reason #4 – Because spending time with your family can be more fun than spending the day alone – even if it means no masseuse is involved.

Reason #5 – Because, hey why not? Maybe, just maybe, said woman likes to occasionally dangle a little bit of fishing line in the water.

The big lesson I learned about choosing how to celebrate special occasions is to tap into the things everyone in my family loves. It is a blessing to think this will undoubtedly become a fond memory for all of us, especially my grandson. One of the best moments was when my he said, “I want to do this for my birthday.” I could have guessed that one.

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Expert Advice

This summer my writing detoured in the direction of teen boys as my grandson grows ever nearer to the double-digits (age 10). The series of short stories I began in June seems to be blossoming into a novel about two teenage cousins. It’s been a fun journey so far with generally positive responses to initial readings.

One of my characters’ exploits involves calf roping on a dairy farm. All of my relevant past experiences were quickly tapped for this one before I launched into research. When my available resources were tapped, including conversations with my sister who once owned a non-dairy farm, I still had a few doubts about my story’s accuracy. I needed to know how the calf in my story would be likely to respond to the situation presented.

Question: where does a city girl find someone with expertise about Jersey calves?

Answer: the Minnesota State Fair Dairy Barn.

It didn’t take long to find a young lady who was managing her family’s livestock at the Fair. I introduced myself, explained what I was writing ,and asked if she would answer a few questions. My subject matter expert graciously confirmed all of my assumptions about the personality quirks of a Jersey calf, and she appeared to enjoy being consulted on the topic.

This encounter reinforced some valuable lessons for me and other grandparents:

We are never too old to learn something new.
Give credit to younger generations for the things they know.
A friendly inquiry is a handy tool for conducting essential research.

Many thanks to the young lady who shared her expertise about dairy farming, especially Jersey cow behavior.

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Dads Ahoy

boat marina — In Towne Marina, Lake Waconia, MN

If I ran a poll of all the single dads I know, none would be likely to say raising their kids alone was a preference. My observation is they made the best possible choice under difficult circumstances, if they even had a choice. Dads who take on the solo role of raising kids deal with the same issues that single moms do. All single parents travel a tough road, however, dads often get little recognition for their efforts.

It doesn’t seem to matter if the kids are toddlers or teenagers. Single dads juggle work schedules, school schedules, home maintenance, and all the other details of daily living – cell phones in hand and timetables down to a science. Their favorite pastime appears to be napping, if and when said opportunities present themselves.

As a grandparent, you might have a single dad in your circle of family and friends. Consider it a chance to connect with two generations at one time with something good for all parties involved. The dads get an extra hand, eyes, and ears to keep track of the kids, the kids get extra attention, and you get to see the world through fresh, young eyes.

A few days ago, my husband and I took a couple of single dads and their kids fishing on a rented pontoon. We brought snacks, tackle, and poles. While the kids fished and ate nonstop, the dads kicked back to relax. We drifted our way into an evening that nobody wanted to end. It inspired me to consider other things we might do together.

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Thank God for Freedom

Independence Day is a cause for huge celebration in the town where I live, where three days of celebrations culminate in an annual fireworks display. People deck themselves out in red-white-blue and remind their young ones that we live in a country where freedom reigns supreme. We celebrate the men and women that fought to keep us free. For some, that freedom comes at great cost.

While watching this year’s parade, I noticed a few participants and onlookers were in wheelchairs. Others wore caps or shirts indicating a branch of service or a specific war. Over time, I have come to appreciate the sacrifices all military personnel and veterans have made on my behalf. In keeping with tradition, four planes flew overhead at the beginning of the parade. During the third pass, one plane veered away from the others, signifying pilots that did not return from their missions.

Our grandchildren need to know the right thing to do isn’t always the easy thing to do. That’s the approach Jesus took when He walked on earth. He spoke the Truth when political and religious leaders opposed Him. But unlike the valiant efforts of our military men and women, Jesus willingly sacrificed His life so all who put their trust in Him could have eternal life. The message is there in John 3:16. If you haven’t already done so, share it with your grandkids.

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