Three older women sat in a coffee shop eating brunch and talking. The first one teared up as she talked about the rewards and challenges of raising her grandson after her unmarried adult daughter was incarcerated. “Some days are harder than others,” she explained. “There are days when I wouldn’t change anything for the time I get to spend watching my grandson grow in his love for the Lord. Then there are days when I agonize about how much I should share with him about his mother and unidentified father. At least we go to church together and read from the Bible every evening before he goes to bed. I have a strong support network at church.” She dabbed a tissue to her eyes. “Those things give me hope for the future.”

The second woman lamented that all her children and their families live more than 500 miles from her home. “If I’m lucky, I get to see them for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. I wish I could spend more time with them, but travel is expensive and I can’t always get time off from work.” Her hands shook as she pulled out her phone and showed photos of her five grandchildren from their most recent holiday gathering. “We facetime every Sunday afternoon. I get to share what I’m reading in my current devotional. They don’t know it yet, but I’ve been writing journals for each of them since they were babies. I plan to give them as high school graduation gifts.”

The third woman checked her watch. “Oh good. I still have time to go grocery shopping before my daughter brings the kids over. We’re going to teach them how to make meatloaf. I love that they come over once a week for dinner and extended family time. We’ve been doing this since my son-in-law took a job that requires him to work some evenings. After dinner, we hold a kids Bible study time. They really seem to like the routine and time with grandma and grandpa.”

As they continued chatting, a fourth woman joined them. She said, “Sorry I’m late. I was making reservations for our trip and it took longer than expected. Do you have any idea how complicated it is to plan a tour of Europe? Well, after years of helping raise our grandchildren through middle school we decided to have some fun by ourselves. They’re getting more independent these days.” She pulled out an itinerary for their vacation. “We’ll be in Europe most of the season, so unfortunately we’ll miss some birthdays. At this age, they’re more interested in hanging out with friends than with us.” She made a little frown. “I miss those years when we took vacations together. This one will be fun – but different.”

Which of these women can you relate to? 

Maybe you’re actively raising grandchildren, or playing a supporting role for adult children while they raise their children. Perhaps you’re limited to communicating long-distance with grandchildren in a different part of the country.

Our circumstances are uniquely our own, however, the one commonality all grandparents share is that we are commanded to intentionally engage with grandchildren. There are no excuses for avoiding the responsibility of training up future generations. 

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.” (Proverbs 17:6, NIV).

How might you be more intentional about sharing your faith journey with grandchildren? How might you be able to overcome those challenges?

Grandparents as Parents

Many grandparents are raising their grandchildren. They might be adoptive grandparents or those who fill the parental role for any reason. Parents might need help for a season or for a lifetime. It’s a huge calling, but highly fulfilling.

Start young grandchildren off right: 

• Sing a song such as, Jesus Loves Me, while looking into their faces. Make it a habit.
• Camp with them in your back yard; read Bible stories around a campfire.
• Take each one out for one-on-one time.

Your energy might be getting sapped by the time they’re revving up their engines, but those minutes of missing rest get rewarded when you hear them singing songs or reciting Bible verses you’ve taught them without any prompting. 

As they advance through elementary and middle school:

• Reenact accounts from the Bible, complete with costumes, props, and accessories. Let them dress up as Noah and his family while parading stuffed animals into an arc built of bedsheets draped over a folding table.
• Use your imagination to play different biblical accounts, such as: Jonah and the big fish, Peter walking on water.
• Attend a GrandCamp together or host one at home.

With teens, take a more sophisticated approach:

• Sometimes the most optimal time to connect is in the car while driving them to school,  sporting events, or  friends’ houses. Somehow, sitting shoulder to shoulder with a teen makes it easier to carry on a conversation. 
• Remind yourself to close your mouth and allow them to express their ideas – even if you disagree with what they are saying. 
• Be a safe person to talk to, the kind who listens and can keep a confidence. 
• Ask questions rather than spew out your opinions. It’s a way of showing respect that is generally rewarded with reciprocal respect.

Supporting Role Grandparents

If you’re fortunate enough to have adult children and grandchildren living nearby, take advantage of opportunities to share your faith with them, being respectful of their parents’ role. In such instances, you are supportive caregivers for single working parents or dual income families. Talk with your adult children about how you can best help them. Many of the suggestions listed for grandparents raising grandchildren can be applied to the supportive grandparent role. 

Some parents do not want grandparents to talk about their faith with grandchildren. Failure to respect their wishes may result in estrangement from your children and grandchildren. Still, you do have the right to express your reasons for living the way you do. Lead by example. Answer questions truthfully. When grandchildren are old enough to understand, tell them of your faith in the risen Jesus Christ for eternal salvation. Acknowledge that not all people believe this.

Long Distance Grandparents

Modern technology has come a long way to ease the challenges of communicating with grandchildren long distance. 

If physical separation is where you must be during this time of life:

• Look for service provider options that allow you to share visual time with families in another state – or another country. 
• Schedule weekly or monthly chat meetings with out of state children and grandchildren. If you’ve worked in offices with remote employees, you already know how these work. Catch up on grandchildren’s school and athletic accomplishments and for prayer time.
• Plan vacations for your extended family to gather during summers or school breaks. 
• Hey snowbirds, invite the kinds and grandkids to join you during their breaks. Take them to places they might not otherwise be able to go.

God’s Word reminds us that he wants us to have strong, supportive relationships with our families. Titus 2 specifically describes how older adults are to teach younger ones to love the Lord. As grandparents, we carry the duty of teaching our descendants how to live in a way that honors the Lord. This is God’s will.

Ask yourself, “What can I do to improve on the way I honor God in the way I teach younger generations in my family?” Then ask God to provide the answer.