Expert Advice

This summer my writing detoured in the direction of teen boys as my grandson grows ever nearer to the double-digits (age 10). The series of short stories I began in June seems to be blossoming into a novel about two teenage cousins. It’s been a fun journey so far with generally positive responses to initial readings.

One of my characters’ exploits involves calf roping on a dairy farm. All of my relevant past experiences were quickly tapped for this one before I launched into research. When my available resources were tapped, including conversations with my sister who once owned a non-dairy farm, I still had a few doubts about my story’s accuracy. I needed to know how the calf in my story would be likely to respond to the situation presented.

Question: where does a city girl find someone with expertise about Jersey calves?

Answer: the Minnesota State Fair Dairy Barn.

It didn’t take long to find a young lady who was managing her family’s livestock at the Fair. I introduced myself, explained what I was writing ,and asked if she would answer a few questions. My subject matter expert graciously confirmed all of my assumptions about the personality quirks of a Jersey calf, and she appeared to enjoy being consulted on the topic.

This encounter reinforced some valuable lessons for me and other grandparents:

We are never too old to learn something new.
Give credit to younger generations for the things they know.
A friendly inquiry is a handy tool for conducting essential research.

Many thanks to the young lady who shared her expertise about dairy farming, especially Jersey cow behavior.

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Dads Ahoy

boat marina — In Towne Marina, Lake Waconia, MN

If I ran a poll of all the single dads I know, none would be likely to say raising their kids alone was a preference. My observation is they made the best possible choice under difficult circumstances, if they even had a choice. Dads who take on the solo role of raising kids deal with the same issues that single moms do. All single parents travel a tough road, however, dads often get little recognition for their efforts.

It doesn’t seem to matter if the kids are toddlers or teenagers. Single dads juggle work schedules, school schedules, home maintenance, and all the other details of daily living – cell phones in hand and timetables down to a science. Their favorite pastime appears to be napping, if and when said opportunities present themselves.

As a grandparent, you might have a single dad in your circle of family and friends. Consider it a chance to connect with two generations at one time with something good for all parties involved. The dads get an extra hand, eyes, and ears to keep track of the kids, the kids get extra attention, and you get to see the world through fresh, young eyes.

A few days ago, my husband and I took a couple of single dads and their kids fishing on a rented pontoon. We brought snacks, tackle, and poles. While the kids fished and ate nonstop, the dads kicked back to relax. We drifted our way into an evening that nobody wanted to end. It inspired me to consider other things we might do together.

Share your ideas about time with single dads at: www.spirituallegacymemoir.com

Hobby Time

tim-arterbury-126157

I have found one of the simplest ways to connect with my grandson is to spend time doing things we enjoy in common. The best part is that we have time to relax and talk to each other while we’re engaged in a fun activity.

I’ve been working on my watercolor painting skills. Trust me, I need lots of practice. When my grandson is with me during the summer, we occasionally sit on the porch and paint together. I sometimes explain techniques I am learning or we talk about the subjects we are painting.

We were both painting outdoor scenes a few days ago. Mine was a big sky over a farm, his was a small sky over a volcanic dinosaur-inhabited landscape. The conversation about our subjects flowed seamlessly into a discussion about God’s creation. Mostly he talked while I listened.

My grandson told me things he learned from Genesis during his first year of school. We talked about Noah and the Ark; how Noah did what God commanded; and how God saved Noah, his family, and the different kinds of animals from the flood. Double bonus: time to paint and to share our faith!

When was the last time you introduced one of your grandchildren to a favorite hobby? I highly recommend it.

What are your hobbies? Let us know at: www.spirituallegacymemoir.com

Tomato-Basil Soup Fresh from the Garden

During the off season, I use the best quality canned tomatoes available to make my grandson’s favorite Homemade Tomato-Basil Soup. That all changes mid-summer, when the vines in my little veggie garden start kicking out mouthwatering, vine-ripened fruits. This week, I fulfilled my grandson’s menu request – and watched it vanish before my eyes. Start to finish, it takes about 20 minutes to make this flavorful soup.

Ingredients (approximate measurements)

1 tablespoon each, olive oil and butter
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cloves chopped garlic
10-12 fresh, ripe garden tomatoes
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 handful fresh basil, torn or chopped
(Optional) small amount of milk or cream

In deep pan, slowly heat onion in olive oil and butter until translucent. Add garlic and cook an additional minute or two. Add salt and pepper.

In separate pan, lower tomatoes into boiling water and heat for 1 minute. Remove from pan with slotted spoon and place in a bowl to cool. Remove cores and skin, discard. Use your hands to smash tomato pulp. Add to onion-garlic mixture and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cook 5 minutes. Add basil leaves.

Use an immersion blender (or standard blender) to mix ingredients to desired consistency. If needed, thin mixture with a small amount of water or tomato juice. Adjust seasonings to suit your family’s tastes. Serve with a sprinkling of grated cheese and/or chopped basil leaves.

My grandson likes a little milk added to his serving bowl to reduce the acidity of the tomatoes. He mixes it into the soup with the bit of cheese I sprinkle on top.

Yield, 3-4 servings.

Goof Balls

Here it is, the closest flag on the practice green where I am showing off my lack of golf skills. It’s about 120 yards out and with a little luck, I can bounce a golf ball about halfway to the flag. The few occasions when I manage to get near the goal come as total surprises. Those only happen after a lot of misses. I keep swinging through those crummy hits, partly because it felt good to exercise, and partly because I want to see if practice really does make perfect.

Being a writer, my thoughts automatically turn to the discipline of writing. Like golf, or any other learned skill, writing takes practice. Don’t try to write the next great novel on a practice round. Just see if you can improve one technique. Read a book on the topic, or try out some of the techniques your favorite authors use. Allow yourself the simple pleasure of practicing.

Several people have told me they would like to write a memoir for their grandchildren. What’s stopping them? “I’m not a good writer” or “I don’t have time” are the most common excuses I hear. That’s where practice rounds come in. They provide a chance to test out your skills without high expectations. Plus, practice doesn’t require a lot of time.

Try it. When you find yourself thinking about a grandchild, jot those ideas down in a notebook or on your laptop. You’ll gain a sense of accomplishment and might even improve your writing skill. Who knows, you might hit a perfect shot to your goal.

Thank God for Freedom

Independence Day is a cause for huge celebration in the town where I live, where three days of celebrations culminate in an annual fireworks display. People deck themselves out in red-white-blue and remind their young ones that we live in a country where freedom reigns supreme. We celebrate the men and women that fought to keep us free. For some, that freedom comes at great cost.

While watching this year’s parade, I noticed a few participants and onlookers were in wheelchairs. Others wore caps or shirts indicating a branch of service or a specific war. Over time, I have come to appreciate the sacrifices all military personnel and veterans have made on my behalf. In keeping with tradition, four planes flew overhead at the beginning of the parade. During the third pass, one plane veered away from the others, signifying pilots that did not return from their missions.

Our grandchildren need to know the right thing to do isn’t always the easy thing to do. That’s the approach Jesus took when He walked on earth. He spoke the Truth when political and religious leaders opposed Him. But unlike the valiant efforts of our military men and women, Jesus willingly sacrificed His life so all who put their trust in Him could have eternal life. The message is there in John 3:16. If you haven’t already done so, share it with your grandkids.

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Cars 3 Lessons for Grandparents

Cars 3 [1] — Image courtesy of Pixar Studios

This week, my husband and I took our grandson to see the new Cars 3 movie. It is a family friendly movie with a revved up story line. While it entertained our grandson, we caught the message that we are to share our wisdom with future generations.

In the movie, Lightning McQueen is an aging patriarch of auto racing who becomes a mentor to a talented but underappreciated young female race car named Cruz Ramirez. Their road is filled with potholes, but both rise to the challenges. He is forced to face the fact that an exciting chapter of his life can now only be seen in the rear view mirror. Under his guidance, Cruz gains confidence to pursue her dreams.

Through the process, Lightning has to dig deep into his past to unveil timeless lessons about work, ambition, and relationships. He hits overdrive, applying old-school techniques to Cruz’s high-tech training. The idea is clear that younger generations are eager to hear from their elders, willing to learn from them. In return, their enthusiasm gives a power boost for older models. It’s a win-win!

For me, the biggest message of Cars 3 is that God gives us no retirement plan. We might be slowing down, but as long as we have a few pistons firing, God wants us to continue sharing what we know about Him.

Resist the urge to put on the brakes. Take your grandkids to a movie – or to a ball game. Get to know their interests, hopes, and challenges. Tell them what you know about living a life of faith in God. Remember to tell me about your time together at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

The Upside of Powering Down

breno-machado-17850 We had a blockbuster of a summer storm earlier this week. That’s saying something, because in my lifetime I’ve been in close proximity to a couple of tornadoes that came and went without much interruption to my life. The drill goes something like this: head to a windowless, interior room (preferably in a basement), wait for the wind to pass, come out of hiding, assess damages, and resume normal activities.

This week’s storm was memorable in a different way. It decided to take out the electrical power for a large swath of my neighborhood, thereby rendering itself quite a nuisance. Temporary loss of power isn’t uncommon in my area. But losing power for more than a few hours is noticeable. This one had us down for 21 hours. That was long enough to seriously consider how much we take the use of electricity for granted.

I was home with my grandson when the storm hit. We got to sit downstairs with a smart phone in case a “duck for your life” alert was issued. It didn’t happen. We did spend some time reviewing those weather safety rules the meteorologists are always announcing on TV. We performed this little exercise for memory. No power means no TV, no WiFi, no computer… no whatever it is that uses electricity.

Admittedly, there were a few “I’m scared” moments. But, the storm’s upside came as a forced shutdown of normal activities. As happy as I was to hear the power kick in the following morning at 5:17 a.m. (according to my bedside clock), I understand those powerless hours were a gift in several ways.

It became a running joke to watch one another flip on a light switch for no apparent reason. We gained a new level of respect for flashlights.
With the fridge off limits and stove out of commission, our preferred lunch option was a few blocks away at the burger restaurant where power was not interrupted (a definite upside). Ditto for the dinner hour.
Back at home we assembled a puzzle, we colored, we read books, and we made up stories. We spent more time than usual directly interacting with one another.

My grandson seemed to relished the adventure and the extra measure of attention he had in the absence of electronic devices. We might try this exercise another day, except we will keep the fridge, stove, and lights turned on.

How did you spend your time the last time you had to power down? Let me know at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

Give a Big Hurrah

This is a weekend of graduations. On Friday, my grandson said goodbye to Kindergarten with a ceremony, a diploma, and a class picnic. His biggest hurrah is the end of afternoon naps. For me, it’s a reason to celebrate another milestone in his life. I noted some of his accomplishments: reading the entire Children’s Bible, mastery of the sign language alphabet, and an art portfolio that sings of his creative spirit.

Many of our friends were cheering their own graduates as well. The house parties and Facebook posts for elementary, high school, and college graduates lit up anticipation of the next great firsts as they bade farewell to the former. It’s easy to think the crisp edges of celebratory memories will resist fading. It’s natural to expect the coming years will brew up more reasons to celebrate. It’s common to forget this life doesn’t promise any nexts.

This is also the weekend we celebrate Memorial Day. It is a solemn reminder of those who sacrificed their remaining firsts so people like me can revel in the toothy grins of our favorite graduates. I share my appreciation for their sacrifices with my grandson, who has been known to freely erupt in a slightly off-key rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner” at any given moment. I view it as part of his training as an American citizen to appreciate the blessings God has bestowed upon him. Give it a big hurrah!

Read this and other blog posts at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

Our Greatest Feminist

stefan-kunze-18467 — Photo courtesy of Stefan Kunze

It surprised me to realize Jesus is a feminist, although it is should be no surprise considering the way He interacted with women in this world. Way back in Genesis 2:7, the “Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.” It’s not until Genesis 2:21-22, after the garden had been planted, the rivers were nourishing it with heavenly waters, and Adam had taken up farming, that God introduced woman into His private paradise without so much as a mention of dust.

In contrast to the inequality argument some modern-day women profess, in God’s eyes, we have always been equal but different. Beyond the obvious physical characteristics, scientific research continues to reinforce the distinct qualities of male and female brains and genetics. I am a member of the female camp who appreciates how Jesus favored us. God did that!

The Bible contains numerous accounts of women who held positions of authority and ran successful businesses. Read a few about Lydia in Acts 16:12-15, 40; Philippians 1:1-10. Flip over to the account in Matthew 28. Mary and the other Mary were heading to the tomb where Jesus was placed after his death, only to find it empty. Talk about favoritism! The women were the ones who delivered the news to the men, who by the way were in hiding. (Granted, they were wanted by local authorities.)

When you talk to your granddaughters, do you remind them how Jesus demonstrated His love for women? Or, do you remain silent, leaving them to hear messages that are contradictory to the Word of God? I believe Jesus wants your granddaughters to be confident of themselves and to embrace the complementary role we have with men. Be an intentional part of that conversation.

Share your thoughts on this topic at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.